How To Protect Yourself From The Beast. AKA Tips On Blocking The Feels

1:48:00 PM

I think everyone should be cowering in fear at this point. I did say the word feels. Or of course you can be standing boldly to protect yourself from the beast that threatens it AKA feels. But we all know that will not end well… for feels are unstoppable. Or so you thought. I‘ve got things you can do to stop the feels… well at lest you can try…


Warning: The feels are a dangerous thing to be playing with. These tips may or may not work. BE CAREFUL. Never drop your guard while dealing with feels.

NUMB YOURSELF
Before you trek into a chapter, page, or paragraph that you know is covered in feels. Numb yourself. The feels will still get to you. However with this technique you should be able to ignore them, or vice versa. HOW DO I DO THIS MAYA??!!! Well my student, let your sensei teach you:
  •          Make yourself EXTREMELY happy. Feed yourself chocolate. Buy a new dragon. Pet your pet (of course, if you do not have one, venture outside and pet a stray animal. Or adopt them. Logic.) Do whatever it takes to make yourself happy. When the feels hit you. They won’t make you as sad.
  •          Make yourself EXTREMELY sad. This of course is the exact opposite of what I said above. However that is okay. Because whatever your sensei tells you, you must do. Now focus. WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THIS??? Well the goal of feels is to take away all your happiness and turn you into a shriveled mess. Logically the correct thing to do is to take away all your happiness already. This way the feels won’t win. VICTORYYY!
  •          Have a dance party. This of course will leave you so tired you will not be able to cry. Or feel. Goal accomplished. Feels defeated.


BUILD YOUR DEFENSES, CAPTURE AN ARMY OF TEN THOUSAND SOLDIERS TO FIGHT OF THE FEELS, OR DO THIS INSTEAD
If you use something to shield yourself from the feels it should of course help. But you may have seen those movies where there’s some castle, they have their best defenses ready, yet BAM, everything they built is destroyed and they die in burning agony. When dealing with feels this may happen. I do believe in you though, so you can try to block the feels by:
  •          Surround yourself with, well something. This can be food, pillows, pizza, or my personal preference, dragons (which of course I have plenty of, as they are my pets) whatever you choose, as long as it is a wall of things you love that can make you squeal despite the feels trying to break their way in.
  •          Eat food. This in fact, is a perfect technique. Reason being delicious food will take your mind off of the events unfolding in your book. Just take a bite, and all our worries will got away.


IGNORE THEM, DO NOT LET THEM SEE YOUR PAIN
Simple as that. Do not acknowledge the presence of the feels with you. Maybe if you don’t notice them, they won’t notice you. What’s the fun of destroying you and ripping apart your soul if you won’t even acknowledged its presence?! Here’s how:
  •          Read in a happy voice, don’t show your weakness to the feels, act as though nothing is happening. Difficult, but I think you can manage. Push past the tears. Don’t let your voice crack. Otherwise, death. Simple.
  •          Read with speed. It is not just a cool rhyme, it is a pretty great strategy to block out everything. Quickly skim through the corrupted part of the book, leave no time for feels.
  •          Pretend to squeal with joy, not sadness, trick the feels, and confuse them into leaving you alone. Ignore the fact your favorite character might be dying, or your OTP is falling apart. Act happy! The feels won’t see it coming!!


So I am pretty sure I came up with some flawless reasons to get by the feels. Well maybe flawless isn’t exactly the best word to use… I’d say minimally flawed techniques to get by the feels. As I said before, there is not guarantees… I dunno why you may want to skip the feels, I consider it a part of the reading experience! You however, might not, which is cool! If you fear the feels, this post should help! And, well, if it doesn’t, always have some tissues on hand…


How do you feel about feels? Do you embrace them? Or run away from them? Do you have any super-secret strategies of blocking the feels? TELL ME THEM ALL!!!

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6 comments

  1. THESE ARE VERY GOOD TIPS TBH. And I should honestly take note because those terrible feels...omg, they are little beasts that like to rule we fangirls' lives. *stamps foot* My super secret strategies are basically just DENIAL. And chocolate. Chocolate denial is the best, though.

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    Replies
    1. Does chocolate not save lives?? Imagine all the poor fan girls without chocolate to protect them. Disaster...THE FEELS ARE MONSTERSS

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  2. I'm pretty sure it's impossible for me to avoid the feels. But you know what, I LOVE THEM. If I'm so emotionally invested in a novel that I can't stop feeling FEELS then I know it's a good book.

    The only time I don't want feels is when I'm reading in public because it's too hard to explain to people why I'm randomly crying haha

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    Replies
    1. YESS I too love the feels, I swear its a part of reading!! Sometimes though, the feels come at bad times, thats why I feel as though this post is necessary xD I cant tell you how many times I have tried not cry in public because of them...

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  3. I ADORE this post!!! You are hilarious! I actually love the feels and I never want to avoid them, but if I did, this handy guide would be everything I need. I'll be sharing this in my next Sunday Post!

    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

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  4. Wait... HOW DOES ONE ESCAPE FEELS AGAIN?!?? I don't think mine can ever go away. I've corrupted myself with so much of them that it's basically owning 97% of my life and I ain't even complaining anymore. BECAUSE FEELS. EEP.

    Really fun post, Maya!

    ReplyDelete

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